pulling all-nighters

there is this girl.

there is this cough.

together they through some hellacious all-nighters.

i am always invited. i am the pusher.

sadly since she was about 10 months old, hadley has had cough variant asthma. i don' t know where she got it or why she got it.  what i can tell you is the exact first moment we heard this cough come from hadley's mouth. it was on the airplane on our trip to jamaica (cabin pressurization maybe?). we had no idea at the time it would stick around so long and give her so many problems. it is an absolute thorn in her side. anytime she gets a sickness or experiences distinct changes in temperature, the cva flairs up. she could have a fever, cold, ear infection, whatever. the cough invites itself over and stays for several long days.

i absolutely hate it for her. it isn't just a cough cough here and a cough cough there.  it is a cough cough cough cough cough with some more cough and usually a puke. every other minute is a cough. few breaks in between. i can't help but think how sore her throat and stomach muscles must get during her fits. no one likes to see their kid go through something like this. usually the cough sends us to the hospital for breathing treatments and a steroid. both of which we do at home as well, but if our home treatments can't help, off we go to the e.r.

this was the case for us this past weekend. hadley slept terrible on friday night. saturday morning we took her to the peds office where she was diagnosed with a left ear infection. by saturday night she was hacking up a storm. i tried her nebulizer treatment of albuterol and atrovent, but that didn't put a damper on it. next i gave her a dose of prednisol, a steroid, but still no luck. finally, we packed up for a family trip to the hospital where they did another round of atrovent, though we always hope with each visit they will perform a miracle, which hasn't happened yet.  several long hours later, she welcomed longer stints between coughing fits.

but the steroid. that horrible, side-effect ridden steroid. it comes at a price.

she kicks. she screams. she cries. she scratches. she bites. she screams some more. none of which are her normal behavior. it usually sends me to tears seeing her behave in such manic fits. this steroid also wires hers. sending her (us) to bed finally at 10 or 11pm, waking her continually through the night with insomnia, and her finally rising for the next day between 7 and 8am. not enough sleep for any of us.

we are now on day four of her nebulizer breathing treatments and we see relief. she actually slept several hours straight last night. so hopefully she is on her way to recovery, for at least this round.

though she is such a trooper through it all. i admire her strength and bravery.  she's pretty amazing, if i do say so myself. you'd think so to if you saw her amazing behavior with each doc visit.

i absolutely hate this vicious cycle of asthma that she has to endure.

i wish we had a complete cure for it.

i wish she didn't know how to take medicine herself or hold the nebulizer herself.

all we can do is what we are doing now. and that is everything we can to ease the troubles for hadley.
i will take her to the pediatrician, pulmonologist, er, where ever, as many times as necessary to continually put her in their face as a girl with a chronic issue that we need solutions for. if her daily maintenance isn't maintaining, let's change it up. let's explore options and treatments, and do what we can so hadley doesn't have to struggle and know such discomfort.

so thankful for disney jr, which keeps her 

busy during her nebulizer treatments.

and now for some good news.... hadley is 100% on dairy and doing great.

applause. applause. applause.

hello pizza with cheese!

it is nice to see her enjoy the same snacks as her friends as school. it is nice to be able to eat dinner anywhere we want. it is nice to see her share her sister's milkshake. it's just nice.