6.29.2009

you’re a little late, i’m already torn

we all have our own thought process.

we are all entitled to our own beliefs, attitudes, and opinions.

i do think that a majority of our beliefs are not necessarily our beliefs at all, rather are passed on from generation to generation, from grandparent to parent to child, through genetics and example.

i know that once we, ourselves, enter into adulthood, we have the choice to change who we are and change our own personal beliefs and opinions. i think a lot of that happens naturally with exposure to the world and experiences.

i changed as i aged. though i still see so many similarities between my parents and myself, i also now see so many differences. i did not rush out into the adult world with the intention to change myself, it was just a natural progression with life.

one thing that is still similar, and won’t ever change, is the fact that we both want to provide for our children to the absolute best of our ability and instill values within them.

i am torn as to just how much of our own opinions we are allowed to teach our children as being exact and correct.

i am a mother, and without words, sweet cheeks knows so much about me, my thoughts, my beliefs, and my opinions through my behavior and actions. i am ok with this because, though far from perfect, i know i do my best to be a good person, as well as a good example.

what do you do when you know parents, who may be very good parents, but their opinions of others different from themselves are so poor, and those exact opinions and attitudes towards others are now being expressed through their children?

do you say something to the parent?

do you say something to the children?

or… do you keep your mouth shut, say nothing, and impatiently wait for that child to grow, experience, and eventually form their own opinions?



i welcome comments, so please share them.

1 comment:

Liza said...

That is such a tough one. when I am dealing with other people's children, unless I have reason to speak my mind (I am the child's teacher, have been left in charge, or my child's safety is endangered) I do try to sit back. That said, well placed modeling goes a long way. Wyatt's old daycare friend who was OBNOXIOUS once said to me, you use such a quiet voice when you talk to him, I almost don't hear you... she was 4. I also brought in paratroopers the day after she was in Time Out for 20 minutes for throwing things. It wasn't really obvious, but if I see a need, and I can discreetly fill it, I will. Those kids needed to use their arm muscles, and the daycare lady had a perfect porch for throwing paratroopers....
We went camping this weekend, and there was a homeschooled family. Nice kids, but definetly from a socially... different... background. While Wyatt was playing and Addie was trying to play, a mom of some other kids came over and IN FRONT of the little boy said "You guys DO NOT play with him or his brothers, Do you hear me?" Seriously. Then that family flew a wind up airplane into the homeschooled kids head. We made a point of being kind to the homeschooled family, and when we won a trophy, even though they didn't beleive in what we won it for, they came over and congratulated us. I only hope that Wyatt saw some of what went on, and picked up that kindness counts.